The Power of Acceptance.

You do not always win. Often other people win.

 

The best builders make mistakes, the best footballers drop the ball, nobody wins all the time. These are just facts of life.

 

At times shitty things are going to happen and you will have no control over it what-so-ever.

 

I am in the early stages of a legal battle with a crazy man, who has stated several times that he is going to destroy me. Last week, my lawyer gave me some stern advice “you have to compartmentalize this legal battle from the rest of your life, otherwise the crazy man will win.” But this is easier said than done. I am finding out firsthand that accepting something out of your control and not stressing out about it is hard to do and requires a lot of courage and self-awareness.

 

“To fight against the inevitable takes enormous energy and results in nothing.” Unknown

 

I am a realist and I have an ability to see things as they are. I am okay with accepting that there are some things I cannot control. Otherwise, I do not think I would be able to successfully run a building company.

 

I am comfortable playing with an imperfect science that is the residential building industry. My aim has always been to make things as close to perfect as practically possible and I am okay accepting that the houses I build will always be 95% perfect. But the 5% that is not perfect causes me constant worry.

 

Acceptance and forgiveness are powerful forces that have the ability to turn tragedy into triumph. But it is really hard work, and it is something you need to constantly work at. Acceptance means tolerating things you do not like and requires moderating your expectations.

 

Stoic philosophy had a special term for acceptance, “Amor Fati” which translates to “A love of what happens,” they believed that to be truly happy you have no other option.

The Stoics used a great metaphor for acceptance, “We are like a dog tied to a moving cart. We have two options. We can struggle with the foolish notion of control and dig our hind legs in, challenge every step and get forcibly dragged. Or we can go along for the ride, enjoy it, and take our freedoms where they come.”

 

Two years ago, my mother died after a ten-year battle with dementia. Her mental and physical demise was something I struggled to accept and will take me some time to move past. But the mind-set that has helped me the most is “this too will pass.” Whenever I think about my mum’s decline, this simple phrase has become my immunity to sadness and suffering.

 

“Expect tragedy and life will get easier” Ryan Holiday

 

Thanks for reading,

Stay safe and accept your losses.

David