The Upside of Boredom.

Boredom is the pain of unused potential.

 

Why do so many people have a hard time having fun in their own company?

 

All children hate feeling bored and try to avoid it whenever possible.

But as we grow and mature embracing and becoming comfortable with extended periods of time alone with minimal stimulation or distraction can become a superpower.

 

Growing up my father ran a business in the small Victorian ski resort of Falls Creek, 5 to 6 hours’ drive from Melbourne where we lived. During the winter, my family would drive up and back to Falls Creek every weekend. That’s an awful lot of boring driving, year after year.

Yes, my brother and I would get bored, especially as we approached our teenage years. But overall, I look back on those hundreds of long mundane drives fondly and I now recognise the value of spending so much unbroken time with my small family unit.

 

“We constantly crave more time. However, when we have free time, we don’t know what to do with it. Nothing seems exciting enough to deserve our valuable time. We end up doing nothing and get bored.”  Gustavo Razzetti

 

How my brother and I didn’t get mind numbingly bored during these marathon road trips is a testament to how we can all combat boredom in any situation. No digital devices (this was the 1970’s), good company, lots of storey telling, creativity & games (sing-songs, I-spy, the number-plate game etc), routine (breaking the trip into predictable stages) and a real sense of purpose (we got to go skiing each weekend, which we all loved).

 

Boredom is commonly thought of as a fairly recent human trait, i.e., it was not common until the last 60 or 70 years. The more we are entertained and stimulated, the more prone we are to becoming bored.

 

“Easy access to infinite entertainment options is feeding boredom rather than discouraging it.”

Everyone feels the effects of boredom from time to time. Think of international travel and flight delays. Being bored is a self-diminishing state of mind. Long periods of idle time create boring thoughts and if unchecked can develop into anxiety and compulsive behaviour such as overeating or binging on Netflix.

 

Monotony lies within your mind. Boredom is often associated with loneliness and isolation and is largely a fear of being alone for several hours.

 

However, if you can embrace boredom, it can become a positive force. The more comfortable you become with being idle, the less bored you will feel in the future. It seems that once you stop resisting boredom; it’s no longer threatening. Idle time simply becomes a pause before making magic happen.

 

“Boredom is the unpleasant calm that precedes creative acts” Friedrich Neitzsche

 

I’m not trying to make out that boredom is pleasant or desirable, but it is controllable. Like most self-regulatory behaviours, how you cope with boredom largely comes down to your self-awareness and your resilience.

 

Unlike loneliness, boredom is a choice and with the right attitude and some personal work, you can learn to accept and even enjoy being idle. Psychologists recommend leaning into your feelings of being bored and welcome these times of self-reflection. Also, try to avoid the quick fix and automatic response of digital entertainment.

 

The ironic thing about combating boredom is that to defeat it you need more of it not less.

 

Thanks for reading,

Stay safe and take a road trip with your kids!

David.