News < Back To NEWS

What are Bucks Parties All About?

 A random topic this Week and my Email is a few days late because last weekend was Max’s Bucks party that has taken a bit of getting over.

I have been to several Bucks parties, and I will admit that I have mixed feelings about them. Some have been great, but most have been cringeworthy and even regrettable.

 Leading up to Max’s Bucks I was in two minds about attending.

 I felt a bit uncomfortable about being the only 60-year-old in a bunch of 30-year-olds, but I know most of Max’s good friends pretty well and I was confident that they would throw a fun and well organised event. I also felt a need to be there to look out for Max and make sure he did not do anything he would later regret.

 Now that the Bucks is behind us my fears are completely relieved. It all went off without a hitch and I thoroughly enjoyed the whole weekend long event. Yes, there was some silliness and some excessive drinking, but it was very well planned in a safe environment and had an emphasis on quality not quantity.

 

But I’m still relieved it is all over and we can now just look forward to the wedding in 10days.

 

However, I feel a need to look into “what Bucks parties are all about” and try to understand why this ritual is such an important part of getting married?

 

Interestingly, fathers are not traditionally invited to Bucks parties and the female equivalent, the Hens party, has become just as popular. It seems that Bucks parties are only held in Western countries and that the Aussie’s are quite tame compared to British standards of excess and debauchery.

Other than the actual wedding ceremony and the reception afterwards, the Bucks and Hens parties are the only other common “rite of passage” when getting married. There are also very few other formal rituals or rites of passage in adulthood, so the Bucks and Hens hold a unique place in young couples’ lives.

History books show that Bucks parties date back to the 5^th century when Spartan soldiers hosted rowdy dinners to honour the groom before a wedding. In France there is a long-standing tradition which translates to “burial of the life of the boy”.

The ugly side of Bucks and Hens parties seem to come from intense peer group pressure and FOMO (the fear of missing out). This social pressure combined with lots of alcohol often results in people doing things they do not really want to do, and they know is stupid and irresponsible.

For me, the Bucks/Hens party should be a celebration of the groom or bride and their relationship. It is a unique opportunity to bond with their close friends and create lifetime memories together. How the Bucks/Hens party plays out is largely shaped by the respect the attendees have for the groom and the bride and can be a joyous thing when done right.

Thank you, Will + Tom and all Max’s great mates.

Thanks for reading,

Stay safe and look after your mates.

David.