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The Fear of Public Speaking.  

50% of people say public speaking is their biggest fear.

 

In three weeks, my son Max is getting married and I’m starting to feel that the fear of public speaking may actually be real.

 

This year my family has had six significant birthdays, (1 x 18th, 4 x 30^th and 1 x 60^th) and I have made a speech at most of these occasions, without any real fear or trepidation. But my son’s wedding is feeling like a very different storey.

 

All through school I remember fearing talking in front of the class. But that changed when I became a prefect in year 12 and had to do numerous talks at assemblies and sporting events. Once I became a high school teacher my whole job was speaking in front of classes and school assemblies. So as an adult I have always felt quite comfortable with public speaking.

 

But the weight of occasion is playing heavily on me leading up to Max’s wedding, and I’ve just finished writing my 1300-word speech. So, I’ve been highly motivated to research the psychology of public speaking to try to understand this universal deep-seated fear.

 

“At a funeral the average person would rather be in the casket than giving the eulogy.” Jerry Seinfeld

 

Where does the fear of public speaking come from and why is it so common? It turns out that it’s part of our DNA and evolution is to blame! Standing in front of a group of people and being watched and scrutinised by them triggers an instinctive “fight-or-flight” response and adrenaline floods the body. We feel a powerful sense of potential threat or danger. All your natural instincts are telling you to get the hell out of there ASAP.

 

As intelligent open-minded people we all know that public speaking involves no real physical danger, so something else must be going on to make the cry of “speech, speech, speech” so traumatic. Several articles written on this subject conclude that the fear of public speaking is really a fear of being vulnerable.

 

But does it really matter if you are not that great at speaking in front of people and you make a few mistakes or you forget to thank Aunty Jane?

 

I vividly remember my own wedding and being very nervous about having to do a speech, especially because my best man was a very confidant guy and quite the public speaker. Just before I was due to do my speech I went to the toilet and bumped into an older wiser friend who told me “Don’t be nervous, you can do no wrong at your own wedding”. He was right and I ended up enjoying making my speech and got lots of compliments afterwards.

 

“Public speaking is like water-skiing, it’s fine if you’re not that good at water-skiing.” Ross McCammon

 

Here are a few tips for how to not suck at public speaking.

1. Speak slowly and pause frequently.
2. Make eye contact with audience members.
3. Use people’s names in the audience.
4. Tell stories that elicit emotion. Damp eyes and lumps in the throat are gold.
5. Treat your speech like a one-on-one conversation.
6. Be as vulnerable as possible. Open your heart and speak the truth.
7. Make the speech all about the audience – not about you.
8. Practice your speech. I do it in my head and try to feel the emotion. That way I’m not taken by surprise when the emotion swells up during the speech.

 

Thanks for reading,

Stay safe and get in front of people.

David