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Hi Team,
(Three weeks till Christmas)

Earlier this year I read a book written by Mark mason called "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck “. It is a great book and one I would highly recommend to everyone to read. This book opened my eyes to the importance of emotional intelligence and the incredible effect it can have on your relationships and your life in general. Mark also has a very popular Blog and website called "Mark Mason, Author, Thinker, Life Enthusiast" (over 2 million subscribers), which has excellent advice on how to work on and improve your emotional intelligence, and his blog was the inspiration and for this email.
 
For clarity, I would like to distinguish the difference between IQ and EQ.
IQ = intelligence quotient which is the measure of your ability to process information and come to a sound decision.
EQ = emotion quotient which is your ability to process emotions, both your own and others, and come to a sound decision.

Some people have a very high IQ but a very low EQ ( just think of Donald Trump!). Other people have high EQ but low IQ, which is often due to low socio-economic circumstances. Measuring someone’s IQ is very straight forward and accurate, however measuring someone’s EQ is extremely subjective and often inaccurate. Your IQ is largely genetic and is very difficult to significantly improve. But your EQ can definitely be worked on and improved over time.
 
Here are five ways that Mark outlines for you to develop better emotional intelligence.
 

1. Practice self-awareness. "low self-awareness is like being in a yacht without a sail; completely at the whim of the oceans currents. You have no idea where you are going or how to get there", Mark Mason.
2. Channel your emotions.  Emotions are signals that tell you to pay attention to something. So, it is important to be aware of your own emotions and react to them in a positive and appropriate way. There is no such thing as good or bad emotions. There are only good and bad reactions to your emotions.
3. Learn what motivates you.   "Motivation generally follows action" . This is called the "do something factor" It is almost impossible to become motivated whilst sitting around thinking about stuff. But once you start doing something positive (going for a run, walking the dog, gardening or writing something - anything really) positive thoughts and motivating feelings will start to occur all by themselves. If you pay attention to how you are feeling during and after doing something creative or physical, you can use these emotions to guide and shape your future behaviour. This is where motivation comes from.
4. Create healthy relationships through vulnerability. (This is a big one and vulnerability is a topic I intent to explore and write about in future emails). The whole point of developing better EQ is to ultimately foster healthier relationships. The best way to do this is by really listening to others and by sharing yourself honestly with others through vulnerability. Brené Brown describes vulnerability as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure", and it is far simpler and way more powerful than most people think.
5. Infuse your emotions with values. Emotional intelligence is made a lot more potent and meaningful when it is infused with your own personal values and beliefs. But it can also be easily undermined and diluted by having poor or misguided values or by using your EQ to degrade or harm others. To be able to live a fulfilling life you must be very clear about what you truly value. "Knowing what you truly value is probably the most emotionally intelligent skill you can develop", Mark Mason.

Thanks for reading and I’m looking forward to a big "handover week".
David.